The Comprehensive Guide To Finding Mentor(s)
The 4-step Process To Get Yourself Your Dream Mentor
Mentors, in many ways, are a secret weapon in your career and business.
Working with mentors has allowed me to avoid the mistakes they’ve made in the past and fast-track lessons that took them years to figure out throughout their career. It is the best way to acquire speed in business and life. If it weren’t for my mentors, I wouldn’t have made it from bootstrap to a successful exit (sale of the company on our own terms) with my previous B2B SAAS (software as a service) company.
What follows is the formula that helped me find the right mentors during different phases of my journey. I will be using my real-life example for illustration purposes only. You will need to adapt the blueprint for your respective industry. This blueprint is complete with exercises. I recommend printing this entire article and doing the exercises as you read. This is powerful as it will allow you to start taking action right away. Reading the article and thoughtfully doing the exercises should take you about 30 minutes.
Is that a worthwhile investment to get connected to your dream mentors?
Part 1: The Courage Building Exercise
An exercise that I did in a workshop years ago gave me the courage to ask mentors to mentor me when they crossed my path. It also taught me to dream big when looking for mentors.
I was in a weekend workshop for entrepreneurs with small businesses (companies with $250K- $999K revenue, in this case). The facilitator asked us to write down on a piece of paper the names of three people that we wanted as a mentor.
He encouraged us to reach for the stars. For example, he challenged us to select mentors we would drop everything for and hop on a cross-country flight to meet for a coffee the very next day.
But then he charged us to do something few dare to do—write an actual letter to those mentors. I remember taking the challenge, reaching for the stars and writing to Muhammad Yunus, the founder of Grameen Bank. A finance-driven colleague in that workshop ended up writing to Warren Buffet.
No one ever responded to any of the letters, but the courage I got out of that exercise would prove to be priceless later in my career. Years later, when the universe placed an ideal mentor in front of me, I had the courage to ask him to be my mentor because of the bravery I had developed deep in my subconscious mind by writing to those three dream mentors.
Try the following steps to boost your confidence to go in for the “ask” when your dream mentor presents her/himself:
Step 1: Using just your imagination (no online searching here), make a list of three dream mentors. You will know they are dream mentors if you would be willing to make an impromptu 3000KM trip for a brief coffee meeting with them should they respond.
Step 2: Go online and look up their mailing addresses.
Step 3: Write a brief half-page letter that:
1. Introduces you by name.
2. Has 1-2 sentences about why they are your dream mentor.
3. Has a brief paragraph about why you are a worthy mentee.
4. Has a brief paragraph telling them not more than three specific things you need mentorship on.
5. Includes one sentence asking them for a 15-minute conversation to see if there might be a mutual fit (between you as a mentee and them as a mentor).
6. Offer to schedule this in any format that is most convenient for them (phone, Skype, Zoom, in person). Also, offer to communicate with their assistant to work out the scheduling details.
If you have great penmanship, hand write the letter in cursive. If your handwriting is like mine, typing is fine, but be sure to sign the letter with a pen. Also, if it is affordable to you, hand write the mailing address details on the envelope and courier it with an option where they have to sign for it themselves. These extra touches of handwriting are a lost art and will make you stand out. The trick of couriering it, so they have to sign for the letter helps you make it past their gatekeepers and lets you know they personally received it.
Mentorship Blueprint Exercise 1
Dream Mentor 1:
Name: ______________________________________________________________________
Mailing address: ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Dream Mentor 2:
Name: ______________________________________________________________________
Mailing address: ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Dream Mentor 3:
Name: ______________________________________________________________________
Mailing address: ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Bonus: Two Mentorship Secrets Most People Don’t Know
You’ve made it this far, congratulations! This is where the good stuff gets even better. Here’s a little secret most people don’t know.
1. Most mentors are available. Many people feel intimidated by the large perceived public persona of some mentors. The truth is, because most people feel this way about these mentors, no one reaches out to them. If you actually established contact with some of the more accessible mentors just beyond your network, you will be pleasantly surprised that they will respond to you.
2. Mentors need mentees. Most mentors have a deep craving to do two things: Pay it forward and help others avoid the obstacles they went through, and secondly, make amends for the mistakes they made in the past by mentoring someone else. Mentoring becomes a mechanism for atonement, repentance and paying it forward.
Part 2: Seek Out Mentors Within Reach
Photo courtesy of WOCinTechChat.com
Here’s the formula to follow to find a mentor and begin a structured, productive mentorship relationship.
To start, look for two mentors: The first one should be an industry-specific mentor and the other mentor a general business mentor. To find the best fit and make the most of the mentorship opportunity, it’s important to outline specific, quantifiable criteria you are looking for in each mentor.
Industry-Specific Mentor
In my case, the criteria for the industry-specific mentor was she/he had to:
· …have scaled or exited a healthcare technology company
· ...focused on patient safety
· …developed a client base of 90+% hospitals
· …have built up revenues of $100+M or sold their business for at least that figure.
I was also looking for someone with deep product management experience as that was a gap in my skillset.
I was fine if the industry-specific mentor was anywhere in North America. In fact, at that time, the technology ecosystem for tech entrepreneurs was not what it is now in Toronto (where I reside), and I looked for mentors in places like Silicon Valley in northern California. Having said this, I was prepared for this potential mentor to be in the US and perhaps not in Canada.
To recap, here is the process to follow to find your industry specific mentor.
Step 1: Decide on the geographical proximity of the mentor to you. Do you want to see them face to face regularly? Are you willing to fly to meet with them? Do you prefer them to be in the same city as you?
Step 2: What specific monetary or business achievement criteria would they have had to achieve. This may sound shallow, but let’s face it, we all look for credibility indicators. For example, if you were a basketball player and needed help in the off-season to improve your 3-point shooting, would you choose Steph Curry or Shaquille O’Neal as your shooting mentor?
Step 3: What values, beliefs and attitudes will lead you to respect and aligning with your mentor? This is probably the single most important point.
Step 4: Clearly articulate the industry, sub-industry and skillsets you are looking for in a mentor.
Step 5: Probe your network, LinkedIn contacts, ask for referrals and research online to make a list of 3 possible mentors.
Step 6: Reach out to all three of these mentors via email using the format in Part 1 Section 3 of this guide.
General Business Mentor
My criteria for the general business mentor was as follows:
· She/he had to be Toronto based, as I live in Toronto…
· …had to have similar character values that I prize personally (altruistic, charitable, paying it forward, no BS, focus on spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, business, health ...in that order),
· …have a business generating $500+M a year or exited at that figure.
Follow Steps 1-6 in the section above to make a shortlist of general business mentors.
While it may feel shallow or “picky” to get so specific, I believe these steps are vital if the mentor is going to open themselves up to you.
My rationale for the criteria that I used was to balance out any potential conflict or ego clashes if these mentors were ever to meet and provide counsel to me together. The general business mentor would respect the industry specific mentor for their unique knowledge and insights into the industry. Likewise, the industry specific mentor would respect the sheer size of the general business mentor’s business.
Mentorship Blueprint Exercise 2
Industry-Specific Mentors:
Name: ______________________________________________________________________
Email address: ______________________________________________________________
Name: ______________________________________________________________________
Email address: ______________________________________________________________
Name: ______________________________________________________________________
Email address: ______________________________________________________________
General Business Mentors:
Name: ______________________________________________________________________
Email address: ______________________________________________________________
Name: ______________________________________________________________________
Email address: ______________________________________________________________
Name: ______________________________________________________________________
Email address: ______________________________________________________________
Part 3: Use the Law of Attraction to Bring Mentors to You
In his book Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill outlines a process for affirmations and attracting the right things. Based on his methodology, here is a brief primer for writing your affirmation specifically with the intention of finding a mentor.
Bear in mind you can create different affirmations unrelated to mentorship to train your subconscious to attract resources and people to help realize the affirmation/goal.
Mentorship Blueprint Exercise 3
Affirmation Creation:
1. Decide in your mind the exact “thing” that you want.
In this case it is a pair of mentors. However, write it in your own words below.
ANSWER: ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
2. Decide what you are willing to give to get the “thing” above.
ANSWER: ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
3. What exact month, day and year will you be in possession of what you desire?
ANSWER: ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
4. Draft five lines of what your definite plan looks like to get what you desire.
ANSWER: ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
5. Put it all together. Write out the thing you want, when you will receive it, the date you will receive it, what you will give in return and a statement of your plan to get it.
ANSWER: ____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
6. Print this statement and tape it to your bathroom mirror. Read this out loud twice when waking and twice before sleeping while looking at yourself in the mirror. Say it with a mixture of desire, faith and emotion.
Here was my mentorship affirmation:
“I will find and attract to me two world class mentors that will help me to impact the health of millions of people, by December 31, 2010 by continuing to stay committed to improving people’s health and happiness through thoughtful healthcare technology.”
At the risk of sounding repetitive, I want to emphasize that I repeated this affirmation upon waking and before sleeping every day as research shows that these are the two times of day you can deeply implant your subconscious with what you want to attract to yourself. Affirmations may feel weird if you have never done them before. Yes, you will feel silly doing this at first, however do not question it. Just do it, and in time, the secret to this method will be unlocked to you.
Part 4: Prove Yourself, Build Trust, Own the Relationship
Once you find your mentors, follow these rules to maximize your relationship with your mentor.
The mentee must be the owner of the mentor-mentee relationship. It is the mentee’s responsibility to:
1. Schedule the meetings and send out calendar invites. Pick a time, date and location that is mutually convenient. This could be in person at a coffee shop or at your mentor’s office or over the phone or Zoom or Skype. The rule is face to face is the best, followed by video conferencing, then followed by phone. Only use text or instant messaging for scheduling purposes.
2. Arrive early for meetings. If you are not at least 15 minutes early you are late. You want to arrive and get yourself mentally and physically settled for each meeting.
3. Show you are keen to learn. Always have a physical notebook and pen (not doing so and taking notes on a digital device comes across as rude and inattentive).
4. Execute on homework and to-do’s given in the session. If your mentor gives you a series of tasks to do, go and actually do it. If she recommends a book, read it. Come back to the next meeting with your homework complete and notes around your successes and challenges attempting the task(s).
5. Try to meet at least once a month. An important rhythm of regular meetings yet enough space between meetings to work on to-do’s is important.
These five rules are critical. Nothing is a greater turn-off to a mentor than a mentee who is late, a no-show, ill-prepared, or complains about the same issues month after month without taking any recommended actions.
That’s the mentorship blueprint.
I encourage you to print this, follow the article step by step and fill out the exercises along the way. These days I have the honour of not only being a mentee but a mentor and coach to a number of entrepreneurs and executives, so I get to experience both sides of the relationship. If you have any questions at all, please leave a comment below. I would love to hear how this blueprint works for you. If you like this article please share this or my newsletter with your colleagues and friends.